http://www.ifmagazine.com/feature.asp?article=3127
Humor: THE SCRIPTSHREDDER 9000 PLAYS SECRET AGENT FOR 'QUANTUM OF SOLACE'
James Bond a big ole sap? Stranger things have happened
By PAUL ZIMMERMAN
In this age of fast food info we realize you're busy. Sometimes you're too busy to even see a movie. So we've taken recent films released and distilled them into an easy to read quick script. So, without further ado, iF is proud to welcome back the 9th Wonder of the World back to our Web site -- SCRIPTSHREDDER 9000 - Version 2.0
QUANTUM OF SOLACE
EXT: EXOTIC LOCATION #1 -- DAY
A car speeds by with JAMES BOND at the wheel.
BOND
I am so bummed out that my girlfriend got killed at the end of Casino Royale. Maybe I'll take some time off. I'm feeling kind of like I could use a quantum of solace. Whatever that means.
Suddenly another car starts chasing Bond and shooting at him.
BOND
I guess that solace will have to wait. I think I'd like revenge.
Bond shoots at the car and blows it up.
TITLE CREDITS: Pictures of Bond and scantily clad women that were oh so outrageous in the '60s float by as an innocuous rock song plays.
EXT: EXOTIC LOCATION #2 -- DAY
M approaches Bond.
M
Ok, here's the part where I outline the story.
BOND
No time M, this time I want revenge.
M
But what about the plot.
BOND
No time.
M
Characters?
BOND
No.
M
Story arcs?
BOND
No.
Bond proceeds to blow things up and shoot people for two hours.
THE END
THE SCRIPTSHREDDER: Quantum Of Solace
-
007
- OO Moderator
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- Favorite Bond Movie: Goldfinger, OHMSS, FRWL, The Living Daylights
- Location: London
THE SCRIPTSHREDDER: Quantum Of Solace
"I’m looking for Commander Bond and not an overgrown stunt-man." - Ian Fleming
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Mazer Rackham
- Q
- Posts: 1569
- Joined: Tue May 08, 2007 8:50 pm
- Favorite Bond Movie: Thunderball
From Russia with love - Location: Eros
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Milton Krest
- Lieutenant
- Posts: 102
- Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:50 pm
Re: THE SCRIPTSHREDDER: Quantum Of Solace
007 wrote:http://www.ifmagazine.com/feature.asp?article=3127
Humor: THE SCRIPTSHREDDER 9000 PLAYS SECRET AGENT FOR 'QUANTUM OF SOLACE'
James Bond a big ole sap? Stranger things have happened
By PAUL ZIMMERMAN
In this age of fast food info we realize you're busy. Sometimes you're too busy to even see a movie. So we've taken recent films released and distilled them into an easy to read quick script. So, without further ado, iF is proud to welcome back the 9th Wonder of the World back to our Web site -- SCRIPTSHREDDER 9000 - Version 2.0
QUANTUM OF SOLACE
EXT: EXOTIC LOCATION #1 -- DAY
Its like they thought bugger the script, lets just have Craig crashing though windows, swinging on wires and leaping around like superman on crack! Plot made no, i mean no sense. it made House of Dead look like citizen caine!
A car speeds by with JAMES BOND at the wheel.
BOND
I am so bummed out that my girlfriend got killed at the end of Casino Royale. Maybe I'll take some time off. I'm feeling kind of like I could use a quantum of solace. Whatever that means.
Suddenly another car starts chasing Bond and shooting at him.
BOND
I guess that solace will have to wait. I think I'd like revenge.
Bond shoots at the car and blows it up.
TITLE CREDITS: Pictures of Bond and scantily clad women that were oh so outrageous in the '60s float by as an innocuous rock song plays.
EXT: EXOTIC LOCATION #2 -- DAY
M approaches Bond.
M
Ok, here's the part where I outline the story.
BOND
No time M, this time I want revenge.
M
But what about the plot.
BOND
No time.
M
Characters?
BOND
No.
M
Story arcs?
BOND
No.
Bond proceeds to blow things up and shoot people for two hours.
THE END