Fleming describes a Brosnan Bond....

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The Sweeney
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Fleming describes a Brosnan Bond....

Post by The Sweeney »

Guess this deserves a different topic, even though it was originally chapter 2 in the other thread....

Chapter One - `Take it Easy, Mr. Bond.'

Brosnan (I mean Bond) slowly reached for the handle, pulled open the door of the casino, and strutted proudly in. The `dashing' agent, slightly flabby around the chest, and with a slight swell to the stomach (too much of the good life perhaps, or just a sign he was maybe getting too old?) cut a less-than-impressive figure as he walked on past the first table, stopping to admire a couple of attractive women, who were playing poker, but looking rather bored. He felt slightly annoyed when they ignored his glances. Christ? What was it? Maybe he was getting too old for this game now. The hair was starting to show signs of grey (too much, from what he had examined earlier in the bathroom mirror), not to mention the tuffs of billy-goat white hair sprouting from his wobbly chest.

Brosnan (I mean Bond) shrugged his shoulders. To hell with it! If he was getting old, then so be it. At least he could still raise his eyebrows, squint unnecessarily, and purse his lips at the same time, to try and give the impression he was still cool - or appeared to look cool at the very least. Maybe a little tie-straightening during an uncalled for moment may win the ladies over again? Or a grimace perhaps? Or maybe just a good old-fashioned, over-the-top, unashamed, amateur dramatic theatrical may do it.

Blast! Not a CGI graphic in sight! And no witty Roger Moore one-liner either, or a silly gadget to try and cover up his lack of acting ability. Oh well! Maybe he really was getting too old for all this now. Whoever replaced him, Brosnan already feared would be the best replacement ever. And all he could do was look on in envy at what may have been.

If M damned well had plans to fire him, and replace him with this other person, he had made his mind up. At the first opportunity, he would sell his story to the press, milk it for all its worth. Someone would surely listen. Playboy magazine perhaps?

It was at that moment when he heard the phone ringing over by the bar. The huissier answered it.

`Hello. No, there's no one of that description here. Not dark hair and slim. There's an old silver-haired guy here though, with a paunch, and by the looks of things, a very depressed look on his face. Ok. Sure. Wait a second.' He looked over at Brosnan. `Hey you! Yes, that's right! You! The old timer who looks like he cannot pull anymore. Come here will you. Your boss is on the phone. Guess what. News for you, grandad. You're fired!'

Brosnan gritted his teeth. So! This was it! Marching orders, and not even with regret!

To be continued..... :arrow:
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English Agent
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Post by English Agent »

...........As no one has replied to your post, i'd thought i'd give you some
moral support 'Sweeney'!!!

That was some post, was impressed with your literate skills.

Secretly, would you'd like a Bond novel or screenplay for a film?

You and 'CommanderBond 0077' (though with different viewpoints),
showed writing skills which would put 'Purvis & Wade' to shame.

EA :D :D :D
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Post by Commander 0077 »

Yes, Sweeney, I too also was falling off my chair :lol:
Like Fleming at Goldeneye, that's where some of my best stuff is penned :?


I especialy laffed at the description of Brozz's chest, tee hee
You move very well for a dead man, Mr Bond
Kill him!
Kill Bond! Now!
2 007
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Post by stockslivevan »

At the first opportunity, he would sell his story to the press, milk it for all its worth. Someone would surely listen. Playboy magazine perhaps?
Yeah, that oughta get them in a guilt trip, they'll be begging for him faster than his bloating stomach.
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stockslivevan
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Post by stockslivevan »

Any more stories?
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The Sweeney
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Post by The Sweeney »

Chapter Two
On Goldeneye Set

Brosnan stared blankly at the table in front of him. It was littered with several books, stacked untidly on top of each other. Among them were several Ian Fleming novels. Brosnan ignored them and reached instead for the book laying at the bottom of the pile. He pulled it out and slowly lifted it towards him. His eyes glittered at the title. `Animatronics - a new style to acting.'

Brosnan licked his lips with relish. This is it! This is what he had been after! To hell with Fleming's dull 1950's trash. The books were dated. Dalton had attempted to recreate Fleming, and look were that had gotten him. Nowhere! Society had no time anymore for a chain-smoking sadist, but this would win todays critics over. Yes! This was the answer! Brosnan carefully turned over the first page, eyebrows narrowed in deep concentration.

After he read the first two chapters, Brosnan stood up, trembling slightly with excitement over what he had read. So! Animatronics would be the way to go! Combining that with a few Moore one-liners, an occasional serious, OTT dramatic moment, and then a few tie-straighteners thrown into the mix too, and he would have fans everywhere praising him, not to mention the hard-nosed critics. He would be, quite simply, the `greatest hits Bond'. He may be in danger of being percieved as shallow - a Bond with no substance, but that was a gamble he was prepared to take. It may just pay off.

But what about the voice? He already knew his voice was soft, velvet, slightly feminine even. How could he disguise it? Maybe change the accent a touch. Throw in a shade of American perhaps, with a dose of Irish for good measure.

Brosnan smiled to himself, and turned to chapter 3 of the rather excellent book. This Bond gig may not be too bad after all.

To be continued.....
Last edited by The Sweeney on Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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The Sweeney
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Location: Underneath a Mango Tree....

Post by The Sweeney »

Chapter Three
Die Today

Brosnan sat and read through the latest script again. It was called `Die Another Day. His hands were still shaking with excitement at what he had just been reading. Sweat had started to build up under his armpits. He wiped his forehead.

This was brilliant! Probably the finest script he had ever had the pleasure to read. Gadgets galore, confusing, unrealistic plot, plenty of hilarious one-liners, hardly a Fleming reference in sight, lots of tongue-in-cheek moments, some titillating double entendres. Hell, it even had an invisible car. How cool was that!

With that, the phone rang. Brosnan reached for it. `Hullo. 007, I mean Pierce here. Hi Lee. What's that? You need advice on who to pick for the Gustav Graves character?' Brosnan paused for a second. He suddenly had a brainwave. `Hi. Lee. I think I've got just the perfect man. Have you ever seen a show called Alan B-Stard? It was a political comedy set in the 80's. Played by an actor called Rik Mayall. Yes, that's the chap. He would be perfect. Yes, ok. See what you can do to persuade him. Goodbye.'

Brosnan put down the receiver, pleased with himself. This would be one hell of a film to go out on.
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Post by carl stromberg »

Pierce said he was going to give you one of his paintings. I don't think he will now. :wink:
Bring back Bond!
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