Best of the Bonds? University of Idaho Student Paper

[Blowfeld]

Intended to skip this one was well then thought better about it, not only does it demonstrate the pitiful Status quo of the United States higher education it might be amusing for us to discuss.

Best of the Bonds
Written by Matt Adams-Wenger - Argonaut
Monday, 12 April 2010
Argonaut Student News from the University of Idaho

The name’s Bond. Roger Dalton Craig Brosnan Lazenby Connery Bond.

Besides “Star Trek,” franchises usually die out after some amount of time. Yet the cinematic iteration of Ian Fleming’s British spy has been in the movies continuously since 1962, appearing in 22 “official” movies so far — and if you want to know what that means, look it up on the Internet because I’m not nerding myself up that badly now. What I am going to do is scientifically quantify which of the six actors who played him did the best jobs. Here then are my top five James Bonds.
*Not making the list: Roger Moore

I don’t care what anyone says, Moore was the most ridiculous actor they ever could have picked for James Bond movies. It made sense, though, considering films like “Moonraker” and “The Man With The Golden Gun” were ridiculous themselves. It’s like when Joel Schumacher took over the Batman movies and said, “I’m gonna put the ‘comic’ back in comic book movies.” Roger Moore sucked. And he didn’t do his own stunts because he was a stodgy old man.



5. Timothy Dalton
Dalton portrayed Bond twice, once in “The Living Daylights” and then in “License to Kill.” Despite half of those movies having awesome titles, Dalton is totally forgettable. He was way better as the Nazi in “The Rocketeer,” and if you were better as a Nazi, then you suck.

4. George Lazenby
Lazenby was Bond a grand total of one times, in “Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” What did he bring to the movie? Uh, a brown head of hair and a square-shaped head. Happily, he got to portray a dynamic and conflicted Bond, going so far as to marry his Bond girl, who of course dies at the end. Oops, I mean, SPOILER ALERT.

3. Pierce Brosnan
Brosnan first appeared as Bond in the 1995 film, “Goldeneye,” which I suspect is the first new Bond movie a lot of us saw, as well as the first awesome Nintendo 64 game many of us played. To this day, all one needs is a 64 with “Goldeneye” and “Mario Kart” to be completely happy. But anyway, Brosnan. While he expertly acted the Bond of his zeitgeist, the fact is by this point the franchise was really old, and frankly so was he. By the time he retired he was 50. True, it’s kind of unfair that Bond keeps resetting his age while everyone around him keeps getting older and older, but, well, that’s too bad.

2. Sean Connery
Mr. Third-Place-Universe started everything and set the bar for everyone else. By virtue of being first, he got to decide a lot of Bond’s attributes, like how “Shaken, not stirred,” is supposed to be said. Also by virtue of being first in a series of 22, the films took themselves a lot more seriously then, and so did he. Less smarm, more harm. If you haven’t seen a Sean Connery Bond film, then you’ve never had cable, because I think they’re mandated by law to be shown at least once a week on TV.
1. Daniel Craig
I know I’m giving the appearance of favoritism to the newest and therefore freshest player on the team, but Daniel Craig is No. 1 on my list for a very simple reason: he was amazing in “Casino Royale,” which was an awesome movie, and he was awesome in “Quantum of Solace,” which was an awful movie. Despite being surrounded by stupid, he was just as good an actor. So he wins.

[Dr. No]

Did third graders write this? It barely hold a thought together. The only thing I can add is to quote the kid and dispell his whole house of cards

He was way better as the Nazi in “The Rocketeer,” and if you were better as a Nazi, then you suck

Described Craig with a mouthful there.

[FormerBondFan]

This article is the one example of EON brainwashing the minds of the younger audience....especially here in US.

[Captain Nash]

If this is a paper submitted by a university student, then it doesn't say alot for the state of the universities in America.
How could he not include Roger Moore.
Douchebag.

[katied]

If this is a paper submitted by a university student, then it doesn't say alot for the state of the universities in America.
How could he not include Roger Moore.
Douchebag.

Gonna have to agree with Nash on this one. Not including Sir Rog is an oversight.

[Omega]

Man is this embarrassing! Glad it is not from my school

[bjmdds]

It's probably from a friend of Alvin on Alt007 who uses Idaho potatoes for brains. He certainly is clueless about DC by rating him number one. He should not be on the list at all. He never was Bond and never will be Bond, except in Eon's fantasy mind scheme.

[katied]

The guy might not like Sir Rog(understatement much?) but omitting him from an article like that?In frigging sane.

[Kristatos]

What's sad about this is that the article mindlessly regurgitates the fashionable critical consensus. Whatever they're teaching at the University of Idaho, it clearly isn't critical thinking skills.