So let me get this straight, DB. SPECTRE, that notoriously powerful, secretive, multinational, world-beating criminal organization, decides to throw none other than a
birthday party for BROFELD
where all agents must attend, the birthday boy himself is conspicuous by his absence, but anyone, anyone can just what, saunter their way inside off the street to say hi to Mr and Mrs Criminal Mastermind and play pass the parcel and pin the tail on the fluffy white cat?
And not only that, but this highly experienced, shadowy organization has for some reason made the genetic code of all its members available to some scientist so they could all be simultaneously taken out? And forget the nanotech, they're all sitting ducks there waiting for Bond or Felix to just blow them all up. Surely ridding the world of SPECTRE would be worth one scientist's life, wouldn't it?
Yeah, so, I get it's supposed to be Brofeld that actually, supposedly, wants to get rid of all those SPECTRE agents, but that's just beyond ridiculous. I guess it was just another one of his childish tantrums, like the one he had when he first decided to create SPECTRE to torment Bond.
I mean, this isn't really like Zorin mowing down his construction workers, is it? These agents had real leverage.
Furthermore, since Babs and Craig were hellbent on wiping out most of the major male characters of the series in this film, why stop at that. I mean, if you want to be really fatalistic and noir, why didn't it end with the entire planet being extinguished - or at least all of
mankind - yeah, some nanotech that attacked the Y chromosome across the whole planet. Doesn't matter if the plot's outlandish or incoherent, right, we're upping the stakes and finishing it all off, right? Why not just collapse the entire d**n universe? Call it Universal Explodes - get it?
The other thing I really want to know is why on earth is Fate so cruel as to make it so that we get 2 hours and 43 minutes of this drivel, yet all our favorite classic Bond movies are considerably shorter? I'd love to have a 3 hour Dr No or FYEO or OHMSS, but no, we get nearly 3 hours of them slowly disposing of favorite characters that they clearly never really liked. That's pretty ironic given the film title. Seems like there was plenty of time to die after all (All the time in the world to die?
).
Anyway, I'm absolutely loving this multi-part rant DB
Your attention to detail is fantastic and it's really amusing and cheering me up.
Not sure why but I particularly enjoyed the Felix gravestone countdown. Very dark but also very funny.
I can't wait for the next installment.